Upset
Fine, I' m just freaking upset. I 've always asked myself why everybody seems to have a life and you just live like shit.(Pardon my word.) Is that sometimes you want to be nice to people, you want to live like you have something really colorful and beautiful deep down in your heart, you want to be the kind of person that has spritual wealth.
But, we are not always getting things that we wished.
Just scan my lofters, full of miserable talks and self-pity. Stuffed with all the excuses I made up to try to cover the fact that 「I am a loser.」:(
I hate myself doing that. I feel sick about myself.
I am the bitchist one in the world. Well I guess its just human nature. When we are happy, we try to consult other people because we dont feel the pain we dont have a freaking clue about what others really been through. When we are in the bad mood, we just say something shitty about ourselves which was quite the opposite when we were consulting other people. They said that something you said can also be said about you, isnt that just right and wise?
Well I ' ve been shtting on myself again which is a typical loser action. i used to be the happist and the lukist, and now i blew it. Everything is just fxxked up.
Well there 's never been a hard reason to find to start again. i am young and still have the nerve. Tommorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.
moving forward, is never to late to start.
Now I know why my mother want to call me Scarlett, named after the messed-up but beautiful and tough girl from 「Gone With the Wind」.I uesd to think its cheesy.
Well now i love the name she gave me. i know,
TOMORROW, TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER. :)
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